Polyamorous and Open Relationships

I've worked with many clients who've engaged in various forms of ethical non-monogamy in individual and couples sessions. I've had friends who engaged in ethical non-monogamy since I was in undergrad. I tried it myself, but didn't find it was a good fit for me. I educate clients about ethical non-monogamy as an option if they have historically been monogamous. I educate clients about how to do it well cause it involves a lot of communication and negotiation of needs as well as clear boundaries.

While your relationship orientation may come easily to you and your partners, the world around us can really complicate things. From navigating our nuclear families to traditional institutions, it can all add additional stress to your relationships. All relationships take work. Growing and changing together with those we care most about, that is an accomplishment. Partnerships of all shapes and sizes welcome.

I have personal and professional experience working with individuals who are a part of the poly and ENM communities. I find working with this community (of which I am a part of) very rewarding and critical given how marginalized and unsupported this population is.

I have significant experience working and connecting with the polyamorous community. I work to support individuals in exploring and becoming comfortable in their identities and in finding successful and comfortable relationship configurations.

Intentionally choosing an alternative lifestyle, consenting partners, and including others in the relationship can be powerful. In therapy the focus is on the issues that you are bringing, not on your lifestyle. While the lifestyle is important in understanding you and the interactions you have, there is no assumption that you or your lifestyle needs to be fixed or made more socially acceptable. I can help you sort out the dynamics in your fluid partnerships, without judgments.

No two relationships are ever alike, & for some, our relationships look vastly different than the conventional norm. Knowing your therapist has firsthand knowledge & understands the intricacies of simultaneously navigating multiple relationships, can be so critical when exploring, considering, or carrying out a CNM relationship. Areas that can be addressed are: time/resource management, boundaries, jealousy, communication, managing a polycule/household, compersion, self care, & more.

I have had extensive training and experience in working with kink, polyamory, and non-traditional relationship structures.

I have been practicing poly for 5 years and couldn't be more passionate about affirming and supporting the ups, downs, and healing that comes with practicing non-monogamy. I work with individuals, couples, and polycules - whether you want a therapist that's just "gets it", you need help identifying your needs and boundaries, your polycule needs support in working through agreements (and calendar logistics!), or you're transitioning from monogamy to poly; I can help.

As someone who has explored ENM personally, my clients regularly express a tremendous sense of relief not having to educate me on the lingo or having to fear that I'll think their relationship structure is the cause of their issues. I also assist clients in deciding if ethical non-monogamy is for them and supporting them in beginning their explorations of opening up.

My work in this area has led me to believe that there are a few main parts to creating a healthy open or poly relationship: being honest, practicing empathy & vulnerability, and remaining curious. This is applicable to any relationship really, but the main difference is the intention, energy, and attention required to maintain your partnership/s. I love finding ways to make this work with each unique partnership, and the process looks different with every client.

I have studied (and practiced) ethical nonmonogamy throughout my life. From the early publication of The Ethical Slut to the wonderful integration of attachment theory in Polysecure, I have been studying and treating open relationships for years. I stay abreast of new theories as they emerge, and continue to expand upon my understanding of how to thrive within a myriad of relationship structures.

I have been a member of the polyamorous community for many years, and one of my main interests in therapy is working with fellow non-monogamous individuals/couples/groups on relationship issues, such as boundaries, jealousy, and communication.

Originally inspired by Dr. Ruth Westheimer, I knew I wanted to be a sex therapist someday. I just didn't know it was possible. After graduation I learned that I could specialize in sex therapy! So I did! As a graduate of U of M's Sexual Health Certificate Program, I welcome working with people in non-traditional relationships, whether they be open, poly, or "monogamish." I "get you" and honor your path!

Poly, ENM, CNM individuals, couples+ and those that have been surprised by their partner's desire to be poly, will find affirming care in my therapy room. Beyond this, also kink, swinging, and other forms of adult sexual practices often defined as outside of "conventional"

Whether your involved in or wanting to explore an ethical non monogamous relationship, as a couple or solo I will help not only answer but ask questions that will guide you and have you better equiped for any bumps that lay ahead. There are plenty of informative books on this topic, together we will figure out a course that is tailored to you.

No matter your sexual or relational preferences, most of us grew up in a culture where our sexuality was shamed. There are relational risks that come with communicating our feelings, wants, and fantasies. Beyond knowing how you like to express yourself sexually, there are also deeper questions we might ask, like what is the meaning and role of sex in your life? What agreements stabilize and energize the relationship(s) you are in? How does ENM serve mutual growth and connectedness?

I have experience working with couples/individuals exploring Consensual Non-Monogomy and Polyamory and am well versed in the literature and growing resources available. If you are new to CNM, I can help guide you in finding what relationship style works best for you and your partner(s), provide resources and tools, and process/explore any issues that come up. If you are experienced in CNM, you may feel at ease in knowing that you wont need to "educate" me on this topic.

I have been involved in the alternative lifestyles myself for several years now. I have helped numerous people understand and navigate the emotional waters of getting involved in open relationships. Conquering issues of jealousy and knowing how to, not just battle these fears, but how to use better marital communication to grow the relationship to a deeper and more fulfilling relationship than ever before, is a primary goal for me as a therapist.