Attachment

“If you think you’re enlightened — begins an aphorism by psychologist and spiritual teacher Ram Dass — “[then] go spend a week with your family.” It rings true, right? That’s because we’re never more vulnerable — & therefore more easily triggered — than with our families of origin. And anyone who’s ever been in a partnership knows that those same wounds inevitably show up within the relationship. But there’s hope! In learning to reparent ourselves, we liberate ourselves to a new future

Attachment Theory examines the emotional and social development of a person based on their early childhood relationships with caregivers. I utilize this theory in session to give us an understanding of why we may react to certain people/situations/relationships in different ways. While we may not start out with a secure attachment style, we can learn our reactions to change the dynamics with others and can create new, trusting relationships to build secure attachment later in life.

We all have attachments and all have attachment wounds. It is my experience that these inform and impact how we show up for ourselves and within relationships with friends, romantic partners, and family. I use my training and experience to bring these attachment patterns and wounds into the therapy experience to help clients increase awareness and understanding, as well as working towards healing these patterns and wounds.

Our attachment style begins to develop when we are very young children. Ideally, it is a secure attachment but often due to a variety of reasons it is insecure or even avoidant. This impacts adult relationships in ways that people are often unaware. If you need help understanding yourself in your personal relationships, Jeannette York can help.

I believe our early attachments create the framework for how we give and receive love and connection. Exploring these intricacies helps us to understand how we show up in relation to others, and ultimately helps us get what we need in our relationships.

I offer Experiential Attachment Psychotherapy which is a dynamic, present-moment mindfulness process that supports you in understanding the way you orient toward yourself, others, and the world and offers us the opportunity to heal developmental or transitional attachment wounds and trauma in present-moment processing in our relationship. The goals of this process is you feeling a sense of I AM, I WANT, and I CAN rooted securely within yourself and a solid and strong sense internal goodness.

A large part of the work that I have done in infant mental health is working on building attachment and increasing security in relationships. Attachment is important in every relationship, and I know how to help create and maintain secure attachments even if you have a pattern of insecure attachment in your life.

Attachment shows up in the families we grew up in, how we connect with friends and partners, how we handle our own families of creation, and more. I draw from attachment theory whether working with individuals, couples, or families, to support people in creating strong and secure connections with self, others, and the world.

Our attachment styles develop when we are young. These patterns affect the way we relate in relationships during both easy and challenging moments. Experiential and practical exercises will help you know your own attachment style. You will find tools to support you to lean into relationships that are healthy as well as learn to ask for what you need and set appropriate boundaries. The capacity to lean into someone, to trust someone and let them trust you, is a great gift.

I specialize in attachment trauma, and many of my clients goals are to work towards having a secure attachment style.

A lot of my work with clients has been related to navigating what happens in their connections with others, where those patterns come from, and how they can achieve a sense of security and safety within those connections.

Attachment theory offers a research-based framework to understand how we experience and respond to closeness, distance, emotional connection, emotional disconnection, and conflict in our relationships. By examining relationships through both trauma-informed and attachment-informed lenses, we can gain deeper insights into our emotional reactions and behaviors. In therapy, we can explore new ways to manage relational triggers, cope with intense emotions, and communicate more effectively.

As an attachment based therapist, I view the therapy process through a relational lens. I explore how your responses to stress and conflict are influenced by your unmet attachment needs. I utilize attachment theory to help you highlight your vulnerable emotions and relational needs, to guide you in the development of self-advocacy skills.

As infants, we need to attach to our caregivers for survival. However, when something interrupts that attachment --neglect, abuse, trauma, or feelings of abandonment-- we internalize that there must be something wrong with us. These create negative core beliefs and attachment wounds. Attachment is a major framework in reaching our true potential and being able to feel love and a sense of belonging.

Our early experiences with primary caregivers can set the stage for how one approaches relationships throughout life. I work with clients to establish a trusting client-counselor relationship that can be used as a blueprint for strengthening other relationships and can serve as a foundation for vibrant mental health.

Early childhood experiences often shape Emotional bonding in relationships, particularly with caregivers. This attachment style can influence how individuals interact with others throughout their lives, including in romantic relationships, friendships, and family dynamics. When a person has an insecure attachment style, they may struggle with trust, fear of rejection, or difficulty with emotional intimacy.

Often our greatest joys and our greatest heartbreaks occur within relationships. This may lead to us isolating ourselves to try to regain a sense of control, or acting self destructively through substances or unhealthy relationships. We may find ourselves obsessively thinking about how we are perceived by others and feel unable to connect. Therapy can help us to gain insight into our relationship dynamics and learn to better manage conflict.

I recognize the importance of attachment style and early childhood experiences on how to navigate relational issues and insecurities.

I am a certified NARM Master Therapist and I am an active training assistant in the NARM training. NARM therapy is specifically designed to address attachment, relational, and developmental trauma (C-PTSD), using both traditional talk therapy techniques as well as somatic techniques. This therapy is heavily rooted in consent (we only talk about what you want to talk about), and is adaptable to address many different experiences.